The Bravest Knight

If I had my way, when people looked up the words patience, strength, and determination, they’d find pictures of Jeff next to each one.  A star athlete and talented defenseman on his high school hockey team, the Blue Knights, Jeff noticed pain and swelling in his right leg in December of 2004.  Within a short while he was diagnosed with Ewing sarcoma, a soft tissue cancer.  Moreover, Jeff was also found to have small deposits of tumor in his lung indicating spread of the disease.  Very shortly after diagnosis, Jeff started chemotherapy at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Children’s Hospital Boston.  Despite the fact that his treatment would require 14 separate hospital-izations over the course of 40 weeks, Jeff’s spirit and patience never wavered.  With an eye towards continuing to play hockey, Jeff chose radiation therapy over surgery for his leg and gracefully took on the 6 weeks of daily treatments, frequently driving himself the long distance from his home to Boston.  With every additional clinic appointment, I came to know this remarkable young man better and better, and the more I knew him the more impressed I was with his quiet strength and his determination to lead a normal life despite his treatment.  I was very lucky to be able to visit Jeff’s high school and describe Jeff’s disease and it’s treatment to them and was amazed (but not surprised) to see and feel the love and respect his peers have for him.  It was clear that Jeff had become a hero to everyone he’d met.


As the end of his treatment neared, Jeff began to practice on the ice again, hoping to return to hockey as soon as possible.  But just a few weeks after the end of his treatment, we were disappointed to find that a small nodule of tumor in his lung had managed to evade treatment.  Jeff underwent surgery to remove the tumor and is currently undergoing additional chemotherapy.  Despite these continued challenges, his will to fight remains just as strong, and only a few short weeks after his surgery, Jeff skated onto the ice as part of the starting line-up for his hockey team’s biggest game to a standing ovation.  His coach calls him “a warrior, a survivor, and a leader” and I couldn’t agree with him more. 



Jeff’s story has touched many, many people.  It’s hard to keep track of the benefits and fundraisers that his friends and community have hosted on his behalf.  Recently I learned that a Pan-Mass Challenge team composed of current and former Boston Bruins hockey players have chosen to also ride in honor of Jeff.  It was a privilege to be able to tell him this news and, as I’ve come to enjoy, watch a quiet but amazing grin come across his face. 


Please click here to make a donation today in honor of Jeff.  The money you contribute will directly support the pediatric oncology programs at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Children’s Hospital Boston. 

 

Jeff

A Message from Jeff’s Parents:


If you can imagine yourself in a dark room or a member of a club you would never join, or experience numbness and sense that you are outside your body looking in with great fear because you have just been told your child has cancer ... and the door you are asked to walk through takes you on an incredible journey of uncertainty, fear and heartache and that you may never walk back through that door to return to a way of life you had come to know and become comfortable and happy with ... what do you do? 


You make your way to the Jimmy Fund Clinic to find that yes there may be a light to brighten that dark room and hope for recovery and remission and people who care and want to help, to stand by you and your son and his battle to fight this disease.  Once in your new and frightening world you begin to feel more hopeful and gain strength and trust from those whom you meet at the Jimmy Fund Clinic.  My son Jeff has the best educated, trained and skilled doctor and nurses at the clinic. Dr. Samuel Blackman and Jeff’s nurse Amanda Carnes are two of those professionals that demonstrate the best standard of medical care and knowledge that we feel more than confident with them and find comfort knowing that we are all in this together.  They are the reason chemotherapy treatments and after care are so controlled and closely monitored that Jeff’s recovery goes more smoothly with little and no complications.  They anticipate needed care and side effects and treat them without delay.  And their care and concern often extends to us, Jeff’s family. 


Having grown up just outside of Boston and being from a sports orientated family, the Red Sox and Fenway Park have been a part of me, my husband and my three son’s lives.  Before Jeff was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma, a rare bone cancer, our family on separate occasions would visit Fenway Park.  I recall looking at the Jimmy Fund Sign and thinking, yes it is a great fund raising cause.  I pictured the Jimmy Fund Clinic to be on the basement floor of one of the medical buildings needing renovation with young children very ill with cancer and sick all the time.  I had a picture in my mind of despair thinking oh boy they need money to help rebuild a better facility, find a cure for cancer, etc.  Well, I was wrong about the building and my perception of the sick children.  Yes the children do suffer from all types of cancer and yes it is very sad and often heartbreaking but with new drugs and advanced treatment most kids are not getting sick from their chemotherapy drugs.  The Clinic makes children feel as comfortable as possible.  Athletes visit, clowns surface, games are played; there is a big fish tank and a play area.  Special events are planned all year round for children and parents.  These things help the children and their families; it helps to take away their feeling of sickness and helps them get through their chemotherapy.


The Jimmy Fund Clinic is state of the art in it’s facility for chemotherapy treatments for children. It has the best doctors and nurses, social workers, front of the house staff, program directors, and financial assistance councilors.  It has bright and cheery décor.  The people who work there are professionals and the atmosphere is always positive.  The staff makes sure you are getting all the attention you need.


So why is it so important to keep contributing and donating to the Jimmy Fund?  Why is it so important to help these children with cancer?  Why is it so important to find a cure for cancer?  You know the answer, you can find it in your heart ... it touches you everyday ... and you are deeply moved by the strength and endurance these children are forced to display ... please help Dr. Sam Blackman raise money for cancer research so that there is no need for children to experience any pain or to feel like they are different and that they can’t do what all their friends are doing ... that they can’t be healthy at no fault of their own ... they are our greatest heroes.

Tragically, after a long battle with Ewing sarcoma, Jeff died in January of this year.  His hometown newspaper summed it up best with their headline: “Everybody Loved Jeff Hayes”.  The video of a talk I gave at Jeff’s high school in October 2005, nine months after he was diagnosed, is posted below.  Soon I will post the a video of the talk I gave in his honor in March 2007.  Please scroll to the bottom of this page for more.